Moving abroad is often an incredibly enriching opportunity. It broadens one’s worldview, deepens language skills, and offers unique life experiences. The move itself usually involves extensive preparation: permits, official paperwork, housing arrangements, and the practicalities of everyday life all require time and energy. When these pieces finally fall into place, the new environment often feels exciting and inspiring. Daily life may feel light, the mind open, and even small things can spark enthusiasm.

For many, however, this phase gradually gives way to something more demanding. Restlessness and fatigue can emerge quietly, and the very things that once felt exciting may begin to feel burdensome. Feelings of longing, loneliness, and disconnection may surface. Family members often move through the adaptation process in their own ways and at their own pace, which can intensify the sense of being alone. A common question arises: Is this normal — and how do I get through this? miten tästä oikein selvitään?

The extensive InterNations Expat Insider 2018 – Business Edition report helps to make sense of these experiences. Based on data from over 18,000 respondents, the report shows that living abroad is not merely a logistical move from one place to another, but a long-term psychological and emotional process. Adaptation is, above all, an emotional experience.

Stages of Adaptation – A Predictable, Gradual Process

According to the report, expat life unfolds through distinct stages, with well-being fluctuating over time.

Honeymoon (0–6 kuukautta)
In the initial phase, satisfaction is often high. Everything feels new and interesting, and everyday life may resemble an extended holiday. Most expats report feeling quite content with their lives during this period.

Reality Sets In and Energy Declines (6 months – 2 years)
As the novelty fades, the demands of daily life become more apparent. Continuous adaptation to language, culture, and social expectations can be exhausting. According to the report, satisfaction tends to decline most sharply during this phase. Feelings of loneliness, homesickness, and difficulty finding one’s place in the new environment are common — particularly among those without a strong social network.

Gradual Integration (2–5 years)
Over time, routines begin to form and the environment feels more familiar. Satisfaction often increases, though the process remains uneven. Everyday life may function relatively well, even if the sense of belonging still feels fragile. Many describe this as a state of in-between — no longer an outsider, but not yet fully at home.

Rooting and Long-Term Settlement (5+ years)
In the longer term, a sense of home strengthens and life begins to feel more coherent. Home is no longer necessarily a single place, but rather an experience that may span multiple countries and life phases. Rooting does not mean that challenges disappear, but that a person has found a sustainable way to be themselves in the new environment.

Social Integration as the Core of Settling In

Perhaps the most consistent message of the report is that the social dimension is decisive. While adapting to the local culture is often perceived as relatively manageable, developing a genuine sense of home takes considerably more time. Building friendships — and especially forming relationships with local residents — is experienced as a significant challenge across all expat groups.

At the same time, many expats do form new connections, and communities built with other foreigners can offer an important sense of being understood and belonging. These expat networks often serve as vital support structures during the early and middle stages of adaptation. However, when social life relies exclusively on such networks, deeper experiences of mutuality and community within the local environment may remain limited.

According to the report, dissatisfaction is most strongly associated with situations in which social contacts are scarce or personal support networks remain thin. Happiness, by contrast, is primarily explained by meaningful relationships, a sense of participation and belonging, and the smooth functioning of everyday life. While structures that make daily life easier are important, they rarely sustain well-being on their own over the long term.

The report also highlights that challenges related to social integration tend to be particularly pronounced among accompanying spouses. On average, they experience more loneliness and more prolonged adaptation-related strain, often due to the absence of work-related structures and the social contacts that typically accompany them. These experiences illustrate how crucial it is to be able to build an independent social place in the new environment.

What Can You Do to Support Your Well-Being and Adaptation as an Expat?

Based on research findings and clinical experience, the following factors appear especially supportive of adaptation:

• Understand the stages of adaptation and allow yourself to feel. The process fluctuates, and so will your emotions. This is completely normal and okay.
• Invest in relationships, gently and in small steps. Connecting through expat communities, social media groups, book clubs, or hobby groups can help. Even a few emerging relationships can reduce feelings of loneliness and disconnection.
• Create rhythm and familiarity in everyday life. Meaningful routines, hobbies, and “your own places” — such as a familiar café — can strengthen feelings of safety and continuity.
• Allow mixed emotions. Gratitude and longing, excitement and exhaustion often coexist. Noticing and allowing all of your feelings is part of the process.
• Prioritize rest and recovery. Ongoing adaptation keeps the nervous system easily overactivated. Reflect on what helps you recover and calm your system, and intentionally weave those practices into your week.
• Share your experiences and speak openly about how you feel. Making sense of your situation together with someone else can significantly ease the emotional load and strengthen hope.

A Few Closing Thoughts

If you are living abroad and feel that adaptation is taking more energy than you expected, you are not alone. The InterNations data shows that these experiences are common and deeply human. Challenges in adaptation are not signs of failure, but reflections of how significant a life transition moving abroad truly is.

The report also highlights that many expats, together with their partners, attempt to cope with difficult emotions and prolonged strain on their own for a long time. Even when dissatisfaction, loneliness, or exhaustion are clearly present, help and support are often sought only at a relatively late stage. Everyday life may appear — and often is — functional on the surface, making it harder to recognize or acknowledge one’s own burden.

It is important to remember that support is availableThe opportunity to pause, put words to one’s experience, and share it with another person can be a meaningful source of relief and protection during the adaptation process. It is also helpful to recognize that any prior vulnerability to anxiety, depression, or burnout may understandably intensify when one’s entire life is rebuilt in an unfamiliar environment — and that this, too, can ease over time with appropriate support.

Adapting to a new country and a new life is a process in which uncertainty and incompleteness are inherent. It is a process that unfolds over time — and one that you can actively support. For this reason, allowing yourself help and care when it feels relevant, and tending to your own well-being in the midst of change, truly matters.

Ehkä tässä on hyvä viipyä,

Lähde:

InterNations GmbH. (2018). Expat Insider 2018 – Business Edition. International expat survey report.